Leader's Guide By: Center for Christian Leadership

What the work of Christ requires is not our
admiration or even gratitude, not our impressions
or our thrills, but ourselves and our
shame.
P. T. FORSYTH

Introduction

This leader’s guide will:

• Explain the intended purpose of each session and how each session fits into the entire study
• Provide you with plenty of discussion questions so that you can choose a few that suit your group
• Suggest other ways of interacting over the material

The first step in leading this study is to read “A Model of Spiritual Transformation” beginning on page 9. The section describes three broad approaches to growth and explains how the four studies in the series fit together.

There’s more involved in leading a small group, however, than just understanding the study and its objective. The main skill you’ll need is creating a group environment that facilitates authentic interaction amongpeople. Every leader does this in his or her own style, but here are two principles necessary for all:

1. Avoid the temptation to speak whenever people don’t immediately respond to one of your questions. As the leader, you may feel pressure to break the silence. Often, though, leaders overestimate how much silence has gone by. Several seconds of silence may seem like a minute to the leader. However, usually people just need time to collect their thoughts before they respond. If you wait patiently for their responses, they will usually take that to mean you really do want them to say what they think. On the other hand, if you consistently break the silence yourself, they may not feel the need to speak up.

2. Avoid being a problem solver. If you immediately try to solve every problem that group members voice, they won’t feel comfortable sharing issues of personal struggle. Why? Because most people, when sharing their problems, initially want to receive acceptance and empathy rather than advice. They want others to understand and care about the troubled state of their soul. Giving immediate advice can often communicate that you feel they are not bright enough to figure out the solution.

Getting a Small Group Started

You may be gathering a group of friends to do a study together or possibly you’ve volunteered to lead a group that your church is assembling. Regardless of the circumstances, God has identified you as the leader.

You are probably a peer of the other group members. Some may have read more theology than you, some may have more church ministry experience than you, and yet God has providentially chosen you as the leader.You’re not the “teacher” or the sole possessor of wisdom—you are simply responsible to create an atmosphere that facilitates genuine interaction.

One of the most effective ways you can serve your group is to make clear what is expected. You are the person who informs group members. They need to know, for example, where and when your first meeting will be held. If you’re meeting in a home and members need maps, make sure they receive them in a timely manner. If members don’t have study books, help them each obtain one. To create a hospitable setting for your meetings, you will need to plan for refreshments or delegate that responsibility to others.A group phone and e-mail list may also be helpful; ask the group if it’s okay to distribute their contact information to one another. Make sure there’s a sense of order.You may even want to chart out a tentative schedule of all the sessions, including any off weeks for holidays.

The first several sessions are particularly important because they are when you will communicate your vision for the group. You’ll want to explain your vision several times during your first several meetings. Many people need to hear it several times before it really sinks in, and some will probably miss the first meeting or two. Communicate your vision and expectations concisely so that plenty of time remains for group discussion. People will drop out if the first session feels like a monologue from the leader.

At your first meeting, it is valuable to let group members each tell a brief history of themselves.This could involve a handful of facts about themselves and how they ended up in the group. Also, in your first or second meeting, ask group members to share their expectations.The discussion may take the greater part of a meeting, but it’s worth the time invested because it will help you understand each person’s perspective. Here are some questions for initiating a discussion of group members’ expectations:

• How well do you expect to get to know others in the group?
• Describe your previous experiences with small groups. Do you expect this group to be similar or different?
• What do you hope the group will be like by the time our study ends?
• How do you think this group will contribute to your walk with Christ?
• Do you need to finish the meeting by a certain time, or do you prefer open-ended meetings? Do you expect to complete this study in ten sessions, or will you be happy extending it by a few sessions if the additional time serves your other goals for the group?

If you give people more than a minute or two to share their personal histories and you have an extended discussion of people’s expectations, you probably won’t actually begin session 1 in this study guide until the second or third time you meet.This is more likely if your group is just forming than if your group has been together for some time. By the time you start the first session in the study guide, group members ought to be accustomed to interacting with one another.This early investment will pay big dividends. If you plan to take a whole meeting (or even two) to lay this kind of groundwork, be sure to tell the group what you’re doing and why. Otherwise, somepeople may think you’re simply inefficient and unable to keep the group moving forward.

Remember that many people will feel nervous during the first meeting.This is natural;don’t feel threatened by it.Your attitude and demeanor will set the tone. If you are passive, the group will lack direction and vision. If you are all business and no play, they will expect that the group will have a formal atmosphere, and you will struggle to get people to lighten up. If you are all play and no business, they will expect the group to be all fluff and won’t take it seriously.Allow the group some time and freedom to form a “personality.” If many group members enjoy a certain activity, join in with them. Don’t try to conform the group to your interests.You may have to be willing to explore new activities.

What does the group need from you initially as the leader?

• Approachability: Be friendly, ask questions, avoid dominating the discussion, engage with group members before and after the sessions, allow group members opportunities to ask you questions too.
• Connections: Pay attention to how you can facilitate bonding. (For example, if you learn in separate conversations that two group members went to State University, you might say,“Joe, did you know that Tom also went to State U?”)
• Communication of Logistics: Be simple, clear, and concise. (For instance, be clear about what will be involved in the group sessions, how long they will last, and where and when they will occur.)
• Summary of Your Leadership Style: You might want to put together some thoughts about your style of leadership and be prepared to share them with the group. You might include such issues as:

1. The degree of flexibility with which you operate (for example, your willingness to go on “rabbit trails” versus staying on topic)

2. Your level of commitment to having prayer or worship as a part of the group

3. Your attentiveness, or lack thereof, to logistics (making sure to discuss the details surrounding your group, such as when and where you are meeting, or how to maintain communication with one another if something comes up)

4. The degree to which you wear your emotions on your sleeve

5. Any aspects of your personality that have often been misunderstood (for instance, “People sometimes think that I’m not interested in what they are saying because I don’t immediately respond, when really I’m just pondering what they were saying.”)

6. Any weaknesses you are aware of as a leader (for example,“Because I can tend to dominate the group by talking too much, I will appreciate anybody letting me know if I am doing so.” Or, “I get very engaged in discussion and can consequently lose track of time, so I may need you to help me keep on task so we finish on time.”)

7. How you plan to address any concerns you have with group members (for instance, “If I have concerns about the way anyone is interacting in the group, perhaps by consistently offending another group member, I will set up time to get together and address it with that person face-to-face.”)

• People Development: Allow group members to exercise their spiritual gifts. See their development not as a threat to your leadership but as a sign of your success as a leader. For instance, if group members enjoy worshiping together and you have someone who can lead the group in worship, encourage that person to do so. However, give direction in this so that the person knows exactly what you expect. Make sure he or she understands how much worship time you want.

Beginning the Sessions

Before you jump into session 1, make sure that group members have had a chance to read “A Model of Spiritual Transformation” beginning on page 9 and “A Method for the Biblical Exercises” beginning on page 17.Also, ask if they have done what is listed in the “Preparation” section of session 1. Emphasize that the assignments for each session are as important as the group meetings and that inadequate preparation for a session diminishes the whole group’s experience.

Overview of Identity

In Identity, we often refer to “earthly identity” and “heavenly identity.” Earthly identity refers to those aspects of a person that both believers and unbelievers have: roles, gender, temperament, and heritage.The components of earthly identity are addressed in sessions 2 through 5. In those sessions, we ask, “How do your views of your roles, gender, temperament, and heritage affect your attempts to love God and others?”

Heavenly identity signifies those aspects of a person that only believers have, such as the impact of Christ on our values, our position in Christ, and our spiritual gifts. These are addressed in sessions 6 through 10.

The Order of Sessions

We address earthly identity first, make a transition by discussing personal values, and then discuss heavenly identity. We want group members to see themselves stripped of Christ and then see how being in Christ has transformed their identity.Thus, the question becomes,“What areas of my identity need transformation, and what areas are part of my unique personality that God can use for His glory?”

Life Inventory

“Life Inventory” helps group members identify general characteristics of their lives. Most sessions have a corresponding “Life Inventory” section. Group members do the “Life Inventory” exercises individually, outside the group meetings. You as the leader also need to complete the corresponding “Life Inventory” section before each session. Doing so not only will benefit you personally but will help you think of some of your own discussion questions.

Discussion Questions

This “Leader’s Guide” contains questions that we think will help you attain the goal of each session and build community in your group. Use our discussion questions in addition to the ones you come up with on your own, but don’t feel pressured to use all of them. However, we think it’s wise to use some of them. If one question is not a good vehicle for discussion, then use another. It can be helpful to rephrase the questions in your own words.

Session 1: Human Nature

In this first session, you don’t want to get bogged down in a discussion of creationism versus evolutionism. Rather, you want to guide the discussion toward the most fundamental aspects of human nature as designed by God.

The chapters in Genesis are central to this discussion.To some degree, your discussion will revolve around biblical concepts rather than personal issues of faith. You may need to keep this session from being too abstract if you have a group that likes abstract discussion. Make sure you spend a significant amount of time addressing the more personal questions, which are toward the end of the list of suggested questions.

Because group members should have done a personal Bible study in Genesis in preparation for this session, you might want to plan some time for them to share what they found in their personal study. Limit this time so you have time for wider discussion as well.

You may have group members who have no experience in personal Bible study. Try to discern sensitively whether any group member feels ashamed about a lack of biblical literacy and Bible study skills.Affirm everyone, even if they’re new to the Bible.They probably have other gifts that your group will need just as much. Part of your job is to uncover and help the group value those gifts. Offer help to anyone who wants coaching in Bible study.The following are suggested discussion questions:

1. How might the secular world describe what is fundamentally true of human beings?

2. How should we as Christians respond to the various views of human nature in the secular world?

3. Why do we trust the account of Genesis instead of our own abilities to make sense of our purpose?

4. From your study of Genesis, what strikes you in a new way about human nature?

5. How does this view of human nature affect the way you understand yourself?

6. How does this view change the way you think about your work? How might you reflect God’s nature in your workplace?

7. How does this view of human nature affect the way you think about your home life?

8. How does this view affect the way you think about, interact with, and serve other people (both believers and unbelievers)?

9. How can our distinctive view of human nature make us, as believers, a light in the unbelieving world?

Session 2: Roles

We express our identity (who we are) in how we do what we do. Consider 1 John 2:9: “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.” Our attitudes and the condition of our soul will ultimately surface in our behavior. Jesus says,“But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean’” (Matthew 15:18). How you perform your roles is an expression of who you are.

The main purpose of this session is to help group members clearly see that what they do is not what defines them. Direct group members toward reflection about who they are, not what tasks they do.

People’s answers to the questions in this section will give you a good feel of where they stand on the issue of self-examination. Somepeople resist personal evaluation; they aren’t eager to look inside themselves or reflect on how they do what they do. Because this study leads members through many exercises of self-evaluation, a willingness to examine oneself is an important characteristic to look for in group members. If you observe resistance, you may want to initiate a conversation with the person to ask what he or she thinks of the study and its encouragement of personal evaluation.

1. What’s at stake if we don’t examine our lives?

(Sample answers)

• We don’t learn how to develop more loving responses to others.
• We don’t have our faith in Christ reinforced by remembering how He has sustained and guided us in the past.
• We don’t realize our blind spots.
• We don’t develop confidence in what our gifts are with which we can serve the body.

2. What do you think Proverbs 14:8 means? (The point is most likely that those who don’t evaluate themselves can be easily deceived about themselves. This self-deception is a kind of foolishness.) Can you think of how a lack of self-understanding can lead to foolishness?

Turn to the “Life Inventory: Roles” exercise beginning on page 91. Use the information you wrote on the chart as you answer the following five questions:

1. How would you identify yourself without using the roles you listed on your chart?

2. Is there anything listed as a role on your chart that you feel you must include to accurately identify yourself? Why?

3. Consider a time when you transitioned out of a role that you considered significant. How did the loss of this role change the way that you viewed yourself?

4. What are some distinctions between roles and identity?

5. What aspects of your identity remain consistent in spite of changes in roles?

Session 3: Gender

The goal of this session is not to answer all the debates in the Christian community about women and their role in the church or society. Rather, the objective is simply for group members to think about how they view masculinity and femininity. Encourage them to consider how that view developed in their life. Remind the group that much of this study is concerned with making observations about their own sense of identity.Their understanding of gender is a significant part of how they view themselves.

As you begin, read aloud the definitions of gender and sex from pages 33-37. Make sure your group members understand the distinction between the two.

The following discussion questions ought to connect well with the “Life Inventory” exercise on gender. Rather than having everyone share answers to each of the fifteen questions in the “Life Inventory” exercise, let your discussion questions bring out the most significant aspects of each person’s exercise. That will produce a more interesting discussion.

1. Give three statements about what it means for you to be a man/woman.

2. Where or from whom did you learn those things?

3. How have sexuality and gender been blurred in our contemporary society?

4. Who taught you or modeled for you what it means to be a man or woman?

5. In what ways was it a healthy model, and in what ways was it not?

6. In your opinion, what happens topeople who have distorted views of their gender?

Optional questions for married couples’ groups:

1. What does it mean for you to be a husband/father or wife/mother?

2. Do you have specific views of gender that affect the way you and your spouse fulfill your roles within your household? If so, describe those views.

3. How did you develop these views?

Optional questions for men’s or women’s groups:

1. How does your sexuality affect the way you perceive yourself in the workplace? At home?

2. How comfortable are you working withpeople of the opposite sex? Do you have different expectations of them? If so, how did those different expectations develop in your life?

Session 4: Temperament

This is another session in which you need to be sensitive to group members. Some people will resist temperament assessment exercises. The process frustrates others. Continue to emphasize that this is a time of observation, not judgment. Ask group members to observe not just what categories of temperament they fall into but also how those characteristics affect their relationships with God and others.

Avoid a dry sharing time where everyone goes around the room and shares results of their temperament exercise. Instead, draw out people’s results through the discussion by using the following questions:

1. What from the charts in the “Life Inventory” exercise would you say are the most accurate statements about your temperament?

2. Where in your roles of life (family, jobs, ministries) do you see the impact of your temperament? In what ways?

3. What challenges in loving God and people do you face as a result of your temperament? What hinders you in your relationships?

4. What aspects of your temperament help you love people well?

5. How does your temperament affect the way you relate to God?

6. As members of the body of Christ, how should we approach temperament differently from the way the world does?

It’s essential that before session 5, group members complete both the “Heritage” exercise and the “Values I” exercise in “Life Inventory.”Why? Because in session 6 they will go back to the values they identified in “Values I” and try to “validate” them (that is, see how those values play out in their life). It’s important for them to identify their values before they know they’ll be asked to validate them. If they do both “Values I” and “Values II” at the same time, it will be hard to resist “cheating,” and they’ll lose the benefit of the exercise.It’s not necessary that they understand this rationale;it’s only necessary that they do “Values I” before session 5 and then “Values II” before session 6.

Session 5: Heritage

You will continue to make observations about yourselves in this session.The content paragraphs that define mainstream culture, family culture, and subcultures are meant to clarify the terms you’ll use in your discussion.

Because group members will have read the session and completed the “Life Inventory: Heritage” exercise, you may want to start the discussion with the following questions:

1. What was the most surprising thing you observed about your heritage?

2. What did you observe that you have never considered about your heritage before?

Or you can begin the session by asking what the group members think about the Hesselgrave quote that appears in the “Content” section. It will be important to note if group members downplay the significance of heritage. Wherever they stand on the issue, you want to help them understand the importance of heritage.

Be especially sensitive and careful to listen in this session. People may share experiences with racism, abusive backgrounds, or other severely painful events.This session can begin the process of opening up difficult issues from their pasts.

You can spend this meeting letting each person summarize his or her notes from the “Life Inventory: Heritage” exercise. Emphasize that there isn’t time for everyone to share everything they wrote down. People should share a few generalizations and implications of their heritage.Ask group members to read through what they have written about their birth (page 109) and then to give a few highlights from their mainstream culture, family culture, and subcultures entries. Give each person about ten minutes to share —if you have five people, this will use up a ninety-minute meeting. (It may help to assign a timekeeper, as some people like to talk about their pasts.)

If people in your group claim that their heritage has little to no effect on the way they live out their roles, this will be a signal to sensitively probe. Regardless of our attempts to be neutral to our heritage, it significantly affects the way we live.As a leader, you want to surface that reality.Whileit’s true that we need to turn from many influences of our heritage in order to pursue godly living, we are trying to postpone that conversation for a few more sessions and focus now on the real impact of heritage.

The following questions are an alternative to letting each group member summarize his or her findings. This is especially helpful if you have a large group of six or more, because sharing a summary of findings will take a great deal of time. Not everyone needs to answer each question.

1. What characteristic from your mainstream culture influenced you the most?

2. What was the most dominant characteristic of your family culture? How has it influenced your view of yourself or others?

3. What characteristic from your subcultures influenced you the most?

4. What challenges in loving God and people do you face as a result of your heritage? What advantages does it give?

5. How has your heritage positively affected your roles in life? What about negative effects?

6. What about your heritage do you embrace? What do you reject? Why?

Time Alone with God

After session 5, you have two options.You can cancel your group time for a week and encourage group members to take some time, perhaps an hour or more, alone with God.This is the suggested option. It will provide them with an opportunity to reflect upon their “Values” exercises in a time of prayer. However, you may feel that you need to press on to session 6 directly.

Session 6: Values

This session is the transition from earthly identity to heavenly identity. Our values are the channel through which our earthly identity profoundly influences our lives, and our values are the channel through which Christ transforms us.Try to help group members make a connection between their earthly identity and the values they hold or the values they have rejected.

If your group did the optional “Time Alone with God” exercise, you may open the discussion with questions 1 and 2. If your group did not do the “Time Alone with God” exercise, begin with question 3.

1. Did you spend time alone with God?

2. How was it?

3. How has your earthly identity (gender, temperament, and heritage) influenced the list of twelve values you recorded in your values exercises? In other words, where did your values come from?

4. Have you intentionally rejected values from your heritage? If so, why?

5. Going back to the “Values II” exercise beginning on page 114, which values were evident in your life (real values)? Explain.

6. What are some principles you can derive from your real values?

7. Which values were not evident in your life (ideal values)? Why do you think you initially stated each as a value you hold?

8. What keeps those ideal values from being real?

9. Should all believers have the same set of values? Why, or why not?

10. What one ideal value are you committing to making real in your life? How do you intend to do so?

Session 7: Identity in Christ

In this session, you will barely scratch the surface of the topic of identity in Christ. However, if group members go through thesession’s corresponding “Life Inventory” exercise diligently, they will discover a wealth of knowledge about their identity in Christ.Your group discussion will center on how hard it is to reconcile the reality of our identity in Christ with our perception of our current life, which is so greatly influenced by our earthly identity.

1. Which characteristics from the list do you best understand?

2. Which do you least understand?

3. Which characteristics do you identify with most?

4. Which do you identify with least?

5. Read Romans 6:1-11.What emphasis does Paul place upon knowing this information?

6. Do you think just knowing who we are in Christ will help us in our struggle against sin? How, or why not?

7. Do you think a change in identity will produce a change in lifestyle? Why, or why not?

8. What characteristics besides love come to mind when you think of your identity in Christ?

9. What characteristics besides love might nonbelievers think of in regards to Christians?

10. What ought to be the priority of love in comparison with other characteristics in our lives as Christians?

11. How does the priority of love reveal Christ and glorify Christ to others?

12. How would you expect nonbelievers in your community to respond if Christians were primarily characterized by love?

Session 8: Saint or Sinner

We’re careful not to claim that the Christian’s identity is characterized solely by sin nor solely by righteousness. We can’t ignore the struggle we encounter with sin, yet we have been redeemed from the dominion of sin.

As we’ve seen in past sessions, our personal heritage (mainstream culture, family culture, subcultures) affects our behavior and the way we view ourselves.

1. If we think of our new status as a heavenly heritage, how will that heritage affect the way we view ourselves and behave? How do we integrate the two heritages?

2. What does it mean that we are no longer under the dominion or control of sin?

3. Why do we sometimes feel enslaved to certain sins ifwe’re no longer under sin’s dominion?

4. Why don’t we feel more ruled by the kingdom of righteousness?

5. How can nonbelievers do good deeds and believers do bad deeds when neither situation truly reflects the kingdom that rules them?

Session 9: Spiritual Gifts

This session is not meant to be merely a spiritual gifts assessment test. Rather, it’s designed for group members to evaluate themselves and, more important, to receive feedback from others concerning their spiritual gifts.

1. Think of a time when you felt a strong sense that God was using you personally, whether in the life of another person or in a community endeavor. Perhaps it was something you didn’t initially pay much attention to, but someone else told you how much he or she appreciated your service. Describe your perception of how God used you.

2. Briefly share with the group any spiritual gifts that you identified in the “Life Inventory: Spiritual Gifts” exercise. Give examples from your life that demonstrate these gifts.

3. What one gift do you want to commit to exercising or focus on developing? How will you do so?

Have the group share what they think eachperson’s spiritual gifts are.You may want to emphasize that this process is not conclusive. Members may receive feedback that identifies their giftedness inaccurately. However, the process of receiving affirmation from a community about eachother’s gifts is important. The more experience your group has with one another, the more accurate and powerful the affirmation and encouragement will be.

You will notice that the content covered in this session is very limited.This is because church bodies hold various views on spiritual gifts. For this session, you can focus on the experience of group members receiving affirmation from each other. However, if you desire to include more content about spiritual gifts and the definitions of particular gifts, consult with your church leadership about what resources they recommend.

Session 10: Corporate Aspects of Identity in Christ

This session is designed with two things in mind. First,it’s the finale of the study. Far too manypeople try to build a completely individual sense of Christian identity.There is no such thing found in Scripture. Corporate aspects are central, so it makes sense that you’d discuss them in your final meeting.

Second, this session provides a natural transition into the Community study if your group chooses to continue in this series. That study will go into detail about components necessary for authentic Christian community as well as guide the group through exercises that foster the growth of genuine community.

1. Was the idea of “the new man” as community a new discovery for you? If so, is it hard to accept? What implications does this have on your identity?

2. How does this idea affect the way you understand growth in the Christian life?

3. How does this view change the value you place on being part of Christian community?

Make sure that your group has a chance to interact on one of the following questions to wrap up the topic of identity and reflect on what they’ve learned.

1. What in this study has affected you most concerning your identity?

2. How will this affect your future? Your perspective in life? Your motivation for ministering to and serving others? Your commitment to being an ambassador for Christ in the world?